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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27116827">Motion Sickness</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aenqa/pseuds/Aenqa'>Aenqa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the sword &amp; the pen (dream smp) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(basically), Angst, Blood and Injury, Child Abuse, Depression, Dream Smp, Explicit Language, Friendship, Gen, Manburg Festival, Pogtopia, Someone hug Tubbo... pls, Temporary Character Death, Video Game Mechanics, fistfighting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:10:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,210</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27116827</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aenqa/pseuds/Aenqa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tubbo can't bring himself to care about his own execution. </p><p>Tommy cares a little too much - and takes a beating for it. </p><p>In other words, the adults in Tommy and Tubbo's lives are failing them in a pretty dramatic fashion.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dave | Technoblade &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo, Dave | Technoblade &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit, Dave | Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit, No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the sword &amp; the pen (dream smp) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2125335</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1022</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Motion Sickness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Spoilers for the Manburg Festival Dream SMP streams!</p><p>Warnings: graphic violence; unsympathetic/basically abusive Wilbur and Techno, though nothing beyond what's already canon; depressive behavior. </p><p>This is a work of fiction and these are roleplay characters! Thanks for reading. :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tubbo doesn’t actually know Technoblade all that well.</p><p>He knows Tommy admires him, maybe even adores him, talking about him with the same kind of hushed, excited tones he used to use for Wilbur before Wilbur became a little too human to be idolized. Tubbo knows that Techno is supposed to be an incredible fighter, stronger than anyone, maybe even stronger than Dream; and he knows that Tommy thinks Techno will be the reason they win against Schlatt.</p><p>But he’s also heard that Technoblade doesn’t really discriminate once he gets a taste for blood. He’s heard that Techno chooses one or two allies, and leaves the rest to rot. And based on their brief, curt exchanges, Tubbo doesn’t think he’s made that particular cut.</p><p>So when Technoblade levels his crossbow at Tubbo’s chest, he can’t say he’s particularly surprised.</p><p>He hasn’t been surprised by anything so far, actually. Maybe he should have been. Especially by the concrete prison itself – the way Schlatt’s face had suddenly frozen into a kind of cold hatred, reminding him how easy it was for the president to hide his true emotions. And it's true that he hadn’t seen the execution coming.</p><p>But Tubbo’s used to this by now, used to the cruelty that is so frequently leveled against him. If anything, it makes him want to laugh as he looks out over the festival grounds he built, painstakingly, brick by brick, and waits to die at the hands of another person he wanted to trust.</p><p>To Techno’s credit, Tubbo actually believes him when he says, “I’m sorry, Tubbo.”</p><p>It’s harder to believe him when he says, “I’ll make this as painless as possible.” Especially when he lifts up the crossbow he’s fashioned into a rocket launcher.</p><p><em>What’s the thought process there? </em>Tubbo thinks, bemused, because he knows Techno has a sword, too, a sword that would do the job, quick and clean. Tubbo’s been killed with a sword plenty of times before, but he’s never been burned up by a rocket.</p><p>He thinks it would have been polite for Techno to ask him his preference, as his back hits the wall of the concrete, his body scrambling for life in an automatic instinct even when his mind has given up the fight. Because if he had been given the choice, he would have chosen a sword – chosen a sword any day over what happens next, which is a rocket smashing into his chest, cracking into his ribs, exploding in his face.</p><p>There’s instant, consuming heat and the sting of shrapnel, that much he feels acutely – and then there’s a fire that swallows him, lighting his suit ablaze, the burning drowning out every other sensation. He falls to his knees as the fire consumes him, choking on his own smoke, gasping for air and feeling the rattle in his chest that means death is close, but not here yet – and he screams, because it hurts, and he’s still just a kid, and it fucking <em>hurts. </em></p><p>It takes him a few more moments to die, and he lives every second of it.</p><p>      </p>
<hr/><p>     </p><p>Should he feel relieved to wake up in Pogtopia? Tubbo’s not sure. It doesn’t really matter what he feels, because Pogtopia is where he ends up, sitting up suddenly in bed and staring at the stone walls.</p><p>The ravine is eerily quiet. He thinks he hears a trickle of water somewhere, maybe from the potato farm. A torch on the wall crackles and flares, and he flinches.</p><p>He’s unsteady on his feet when he stands. His new body hurts; he hasn’t broken it in yet. And, just like he might ache where he was struck with a sword for a few days after respawning, he thinks he can still feel the remnants of the explosion; his skin feels hot to the touch, feverish, giving everything a sense of unreality.</p><p>Tubbo sits down on the bed and he waits for something else to happen. There’s not much else for him to do.</p><p>Tommy is the first one back to the ravine. He’s beaten up, bleeding from a cut on his arm, and when he sees Tubbo, he shouts his name, practically falling over himself to reach him.</p><p>It’s the first thing that sparks actual emotion in Tubbo’s chest, and he jumps to his feet and reaches for Tommy blindly, letting the other boy crash into him with a crushing hug that he doesn’t have the heart to tell him hurts.</p><p>“Goddammit, Tubbo,” Tommy says, his voice cracking as he squeezes Tubbo a little tighter. “Everything just went to shit!”</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Tubbo mumbles into his shoulder.</p><p>Tommy pulls back. “What’s – what’s <em>wrong</em>?” he asks, then pauses, suddenly going pale. “Tubbo…” he says, bringing a hand up and touching Tubbo’s cheek, a strange motion which kind of shocks Tubbo – he steps back a bit as Tommy says, “your face.”</p><p>Tubbo’s brow furrows. He brings a hand up to touch his own cheek. It feels strange – sort of sensitive. “What is it?” he asks.</p><p>Tommy sort of swallows and shakes his head. “Nothing – it’s nothing,” he says weakly, as though to make Tubbo feel better. “I – I think it’s just a burn or something. I’m sure it’ll fade.” Then his face goes dark. “I’m going to fucking kill Technoblade,” he hisses, pacing away, his shoulders rigid.</p><p>Tommy keeps talking, ranting about how Techno was supposed to be on their side, and how could he just follow Schlatt’s orders like that? – but Tubbo isn’t quite listening. He’s wandering away, towards a small pool of water near the far end of the ravine.</p><p>“I thought he <em>cared</em> about us,” Tommy is saying, his voice anguished, as Tubbo kneels at the side of the water, looking down at the reflection of his face.</p><p>It is a burn. It’s a scar. An angry, red scar that covers the entire right side of his face, stretching from his neck to the top of his forehead. Tubbo presses a gentle hand against it, and for a second, only the unburned side of his face peers back at him. He laughs a little and drops his hand, and sees it again.</p><p>Should he feel shocked? Should he feel sad? He doesn’t really feel anything. If anything, Tubbo thinks, the scar is fitting. It feels right that there should be some outward proof of the hell he’s been put through over the past few months. The wars, the betrayals, the abandonment. The realization Tommy hasn’t quite reached yet – that none of the adults in their life care about them in any meaningful way. Not one.</p><p>This scar is proof of all that. So Tubbo doesn’t mind it much.</p><p>“Did you hear me, Tubbo?” Tommy asks, and Tubbo turns back around. Tommy freezes a little when he sees Tubbo’s face again. <em>He’ll get used to it, </em>Tubbo thinks distantly.</p><p>“Sorry,” Tubbo says, standing back up. “What did you say?”</p><p>“I said, if Technoblade has the <em>gall </em>to show his face round here ever again, I’m gonna fuck him up,” Tommy says furiously, coming closer to Tubbo. His fists are clenched at his sides. “I want you to know that. I’m not gonna let him get away with what he did to you.”</p><p>Is that all Tommy's angry about? Tubbo looks at him with a little smile. “Thank you, Tommy,” he says, “but it’s really okay.”</p><p>Something flickers in Tommy’s gaze. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Well, I’m okay now, aren’t I? It’s not like Techno did any lasting damage.” Then Tubbo laughs a little as he remembers, touching his face. “Well, not much, anyway.”</p><p>Tommy looks sort of disturbed. “Tubbo, he <em>hurt you,</em>” he says, heat behind his every word. “I mean – I mean – he hit you with a fucking <em>rocket launcher. </em>That – didn’t that hurt?”</p><p>Oh, it did. It did, and for a moment Tubbo shudders and his mind relives the feeling of the rocket exploding at point-blank range. But everyone who might be able to help Tubbo has hurt him by now – first Dream, then Wilbur, Schlatt, now Techno. He’s sort of come to expect it.</p><p>Except from Tommy. But Tommy is special. </p><p>“It’s okay, Tommy, really,” Tubbo says, trying to comfort him. “We need him if we want to win, don’t we?”</p><p>Tommy splutters for a moment. “Well – I mean -,”</p><p>He doesn’t have a chance to finish his thought before Wilbur and Techno are coming in from the tunnel, talking to each other and laughing like nothing had happened at all. And Tubbo can’t help but chuckle to himself, because – of course.</p><p>“What the fuck are you doing here?” Tommy explodes, equipping his sword and stalking towards the two of them.</p><p>“Woah, woah, woah,” Wilbur says jovially, while Techno narrows his eyes at Tommy, pulling out his shield. The pink-haired man still has his Netherite armor on – Tommy doesn’t stand a chance, and he knows it. “What’s all the fuss about, then?”   </p><p>“He killed Tubbo!” Tommy cries. “Wilbur – what are you doing? He betrayed us!”</p><p>“I sorta killed everyone,” Techno says with a shrug. “It was nothin’ personal.”</p><p>“It was <em>fantastic</em>, is what it was,” Wilbur says. “Just total chaos. I couldn’t find the fucking button, but I really didn’t have to. Techno did it all for me.”</p><p>He has that manic gleam in his eyes that Tubbo’s learned to take heed of. When Wilbur is like this, it’s best to just agree with everything he says, and that’s what Tubbo does when Wilbur turns to him and says, “Tubbo doesn’t mind, does he?”</p><p>“It’s alright,” Tubbo says, and Tommy whirls towards him, his face stricken.</p><p>“<em>Tubbo</em>,” he says disbelievingly.</p><p>Tubbo just sort of shrugs at him.</p><p>“He betrayed you in a heartbeat! Like it was nothing!” Tommy shouts, turning back towards Technoblade, who’s watching him with a sort of ambivalent, amused expression. This clearly only pisses Tommy off more, and he takes another step forward, his knuckles going white on the handle of his sword. “He was standing <em>right next </em>to Schlatt, and – and he just followed his orders, like a good little soldier!”</p><p>“I killed Schlatt right afterwards, Tommy,” Techno says, starting to sound bored. “We’ve gone over this.”</p><p>“No, I like this, actually,” Wilbur says, a sharp grin spreading across his face. “Come on then, Tommy. You’re angry. What are you going to do about it?”</p><p>Tubbo’s heart sinks as Tommy says through gritted teeth, “Leave, Techno.”</p><p>Techno laughs shortly. “Make me.”</p><p>“Tommy, it’s really okay,” Tubbo says, trying to grab Tommy’s arm. Tommy yanks it away. “Seriously. If all you’re angry about is him killing me, then – I don’t even care. You can just let it go.”</p><p>“But you <em>should care, </em>Tubbo,” Tommy yells, turning towards him with a desperate look. “I mean, what the fuck? He <em>hurt you</em>. He burned up your face! I – I can’t just let that go. And you shouldn’t, either!”</p><p>The words sort of sting, probably because Tubbo knows he’s right. He – he knows he should care more. But he doesn’t. And he doesn’t really want to. Because it’s just going to happen again, probably, and again after that. And if he spends all his time feeling hurt and betrayed by the people who are hurting and betraying him, then – he’d never have time for anything else.</p><p>“You should fight,” Wilbur says, and it’s clear he doesn’t care, at all, about what either of them are saying. He’s changed so much since the war, Tubbo thinks, looking at the way Wilbur’s face has lit up at the thought of more chaos – more violence. “You should fight it out, if you’re so angry about this, Tommy.”</p><p>“Fine,” Tommy explodes, impulsive as ever. “Let’s do it, then. No armor. No weapons.”</p><p>Techno almost hesitates. “You wanna do a fist fight?”</p><p>“Unless you apologize to Tubbo,” Tommy spits.</p><p>Techno sends Tubbo a cursory glance. “I already apologized to Tubbo.”</p><p>“What, while you were pulling the trigger? Yeah, I’m sure that was real genuine!”</p><p>“Tommy, please don’t,” Tubbo begs, pulling on Tommy’s hand.</p><p>“Don’t you see what you did to his face?” Tommy shouts at Techno. “Don’t you – don’t you feel even a <em>little </em>bad about that?”</p><p>“Tommy, I’m doing what I have to do to help Wilbur,” Techno says, crossing his arms. “I won’t apologize for that. But listen, if you want to fight this out – I can do that. I <em>respect</em> that.”</p><p>“Let’s go, then,” Tommy says, and Wilbur punches the air, shouting “yes! Oh, <em>hell</em> yes.”</p><p>“Don’t, Tommy,” Tubbo tries again, but the two of them are already throwing their armor and weapons to the ground. Wilbur grabs Tubbo and pulls him back, giving them space as they start circling around each other, their fists raised. Wilbur barely even glances at Tubbo, his gaze fixed solely on the action, a manic smile on his face. </p><p>“I thought you were my brother, Techno,” Tommy says, and Tubbo can hear the hurt in his voice as plain as day.</p><p>“<em>Wilbur’s</em> my brother,” Techno says. “I don’t remember sendin’ you that invitation.”</p><p>Tommy’s face falls for an anguished moment before he’s launching himself at Techno, his fists swinging wildly in the air. Techno sidesteps him easily and body-checks him, sending him stumbling, before swinging for his face. Tommy manages to duck and gets one solid hit off on Techno’s chest, but before he can press the advantage, Techno is moving at an almost inhuman speed, lashing out and punching Tommy squarely in the face, giving him a bloody nose; he swings his fist into Tommy’s stomach and Tommy doubles over himself, gasping, and then Techno sweeps a leg out and Tommy hits the ground, hard.</p><p>Wilbur cheers and Tubbo’s stomach lurches, and Techno crosses his arms arrogantly.</p><p>“You done?” he asks.</p><p>“Fuck you,” Tommy says, wiping the blood off his face, and launches himself up from the ground again.</p><p>“Tommy,” Tubbo begs, but Wilbur stops him again with a hand around his arm. This round is even shorter: Techno dodges Tommy’s first messy swing, grabs his wrist on his second, and twists his arm, drawing a shout from the younger boy; Techno cracks his fist across Tommy’s face and Tommy goes to his knees. Techno drops his arm and Tommy curls over it, coughing.</p><p>“Well. It's been fun,” Techno says dryly, turning his back on Tommy.</p><p>Tommy lets out a scream of frustration, bashing his fist against the ground. When he lifts his head, blood is flowing from what looks like a broken nose, and his eyes are wild and furious. “I’m not fucking done with you, Technoblade!”</p><p>Tubbo sees Techno sigh and turn around again, and he wrenches himself away from Wilbur’s grip, jumping in front of Tommy.</p><p>“Enough!” he shouts, tears finally welling up in his eyes. “Stop this. Stop. You win, Techno. You win, okay?”</p><p>“St- stop, Tubbo, lemme – lemme back up,” he hears Tommy say hoarsely, and he just whirls, glaring at him.</p><p>“You’re done,” he hisses, “okay? This isn’t worth it.”</p><p>“He hurt you, Tubbo,” Tommy says, as if Tubbo doesn’t know. “He hurt you, and he doesn’t <em>care.” </em></p><p>“You’re the only one who does, Tommy,” Tubbo says, and he’s just tired, so tired.</p><p>Suddenly, Wilbur is cackling, his laughter filling up the ravine. Tubbo turns towards him, a glare on his face, as Wilbur claps Techno on the shoulder. “That was great,” Wilbur says, a grin on his face. “Predictable, but great regardless. I mean, the dramatic tension here is just… impeccable, as always, Techno.”</p><p>“Let’s just go, Wilbur,” Techno says, and if he feels any guilt at all, he doesn’t show it as he and Wilbur walk away.  </p><p>As usual, Tommy and Tubbo are left hurt and alone.</p><p>Blood drips steadily from Tommy’s nose, splashing crimson against the stone, and he groans, pressing a hand to his nose and squeezing his eyes shut.</p><p>“Come on, big man,” Tubbo says, pulling him up. The brief surge of emotion he felt watching Tommy get hurt is fading, and the numbness is returning. He just has to do the next thing, the next thing, the next thing. “Healing potion time.”</p><p>“Don’t waste it, I’ll be fine,” Tommy grumbles, but his nose is clearly broken and his arm still looks sort of twisted, and a dark bruise is forming along his jaw where Techno hit him. Tubbo pulls one of his last healing potions from his ender chest and shoves it into Tommy’s hands, glaring at him until Tommy drinks it. It doesn’t fix everything, but the bleeding stops, and Tommy takes a shaky breath, nodding at Tubbo. “Thank you.”</p><p>They hear Wilbur and Techno laugh about something a few rooms away, and they both flinch, looking over their shoulders.</p><p>“Let’s go somewhere else,” Tommy mutters, and Tubbo nods.</p><p>It’s cool and dark outside, and it feels a bit safer. Tommy and Tubbo walk a little ways into the forest, finding a small clearing where they can sit. They face each other so they can see over each other’s backs – so that nobody can sneak up on them from any direction. It’s how they’ve sat automatically over the last few months, and Tubbo hasn’t had the time to process how fucked up that is. He hasn’t had the time to process anything.</p><p>“You shouldn’t have done that,” he tells Tommy, whose expression darkens. He picks at the leg of his pants.</p><p>“I know,” he says finally, “but – goddammit, Tubbo. I feel like I have to feel angry enough for the two of us. You – you just don’t care at all!”</p><p>“Why should I care?” Tubbo mumbles, feeling the weight of everything heavily on his shoulders. “I… I’m alive. That’s all that matters, right?”</p><p>“No,” Tommy says, his voice breaking a little. “No, Tubbo. Techno shouldn’t have hurt you like that. It’s not – it’s not right! And he should know it isn’t right!”</p><p>“I don’t think he and Wilbur care,” Tubbo said, looking down and pulling up a few strands of grass, twisting them in his fingers.</p><p>“Maybe they don’t,” Tommy says, and then he grabs for Tubbo’s hand. “But I care, Tubbo, I care. And I – I need you to care, too. Okay?”</p><p>Tubbo looks at Tommy sadly. He’s – he’s just so tired. And it takes so much effort to care. To feel angry. He doesn’t know how Tommy does it, so effortlessly. Sometimes he thinks it’s just sheer momentum. Tommy has never stopped, not once. He probably doesn’t know how.</p><p>The momentum has worn off for Tubbo. He’ll just do what Wilbur asks him to do – or what Tommy wants him to do – whatever he needs to do, to get L’Manburg back. To go home. To be safe. He can’t bring himself to care, anymore, what happens to him in the process.</p><p>But Tommy is looking at him so sadly, and – and Tubbo knows he’s right.</p><p>“I’ll try, Tommy,” he says, but somehow that just makes Tommy look sadder. “I really will. I promise.”</p><p>They end up falling asleep there, leaning against each other. Tubbo knows that in the morning, they'll have to return to the ravine, have to deal with Wilbur and Techno again; but for now, they're together, and it feels safe. These days, Tubbo will take that feeling wherever he can get it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I got the idea for Tubbo's scar from a few talented artists on Tumblr; I'm not sure exactly where the idea originated, but the first time I saw it was <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/sketchyskittles-png/632194461865246720">here, from this very good art!</a> </p><p>For the record, I love Wilbur and Techno both, but god, their SMP characters are getting hard to defend! I feel like Techno and Tommy's fistfight has been a little underdiscussed, like... that shit's pretty dark. </p><p>Thanks so much for reading; comments and kudos are always appreciated! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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